Just Can't think

What is the difference between Like and Love?

Liking someone and Loving someone although they go hand in hand and sometimes awfully mistaken by many as the same thing, there is an actual different - a big one - between the two. Loving someone is when your happiness depends on the happiness of the person you love, and sometimes, this could be a mutual attraction between both parties. Liking on the other hand, is crushing on a person, or simply liking a person for their admirable qualities. In my previous post, I explained that my friend and I solely debate on physical attractions, and linking to that would be crushes.

There is no denying that crushing is a natural feeling any adolescent or human being would feel in their life time. We have all these crushes we might still remember, sometimes, these are called our first loves. I have a big problem with crushing on guys, but that's not important, they are simply a passing thought any of us would dismiss as "oh that persons cute" but not the deeper level of physical attraction to the point where you actually want them to be your lover or be intimately closer with them.

So back to the difference between like and love. There has only been two guys I had openly expressed to my friends about having a crush on or "like". So let's take a little in depth analysis to this shall we? My first crush, besides the puppy crush i'd have in elementary, and this was seriously one that was long, lasted 5 years. I had a crush on him since Jr. High school, and as I explained to my odd taste, was slender, gentleman-ish, shy, and mysterious. He was cute too, short probably around my height. He graduated a year ago, and my feelings for him simply vanished way before he left when I've met my current crush. Similarly, this guy is mysterious, shy, slender, but really tall. While I mainly hadn't expressed my feelings about guys to my friends, oddly enough i was open about these two guys. And while, the guy I liked for 5 years gave me this butterflies feeling and was my first source of inspirations in all things I did, my other guy just messes with my head. I don't even know the difference between liking and loving anymore. Whenever I do something, I'd think of him, and this time when I was in church we were singing a song that had his name, and then in opening prayer, I started thinking about him. Which is really bad because its getting worst everyday.

I always told myself that I'm okay with liking people, that is crushing on people, using them as my inspiration, but then when its with him, its a whole new situation, if I liked the first guy for 5 years, why did everything change all of a sudden? Why did those 5 years get wasted, and why was this new guy affecting my life as it already is? I've never cried over a guy before, and surely this guy was the first. I get annoyed thinking about liking him, and I'm super awkward whenever I am around him. I'd steal peeks of him when he is not looking, and I just can't bring myself to interact with him without making a total fool of myself in front of him. I can't even focus on my work because all i think about is him. And what makes it worst, is that it just gets worst everyday because i have to deal with seeing him everyday.

We talked online, and he's pretty cool guy, but then i'm just so awkward up front and personal. I just don't know how to interact with him. And whenever I ignore him in class, is what makes it even awkwarder on both our parts. At first it was simply a crush, I like him, and I wanted to start out as friends with him, until it just got worst over the whole year, and I get jealous easily when he talks to other girls, whenever we are around each other inside i'm happy but outside i'm blushing. I get really nervous, and I've never even felt this way to my first crush which was 5 years long.

So love or like? It started out as like, in other words, crushing. And then I realized after all the shit load of messages i've been exchanging with my friend, although I always deny it, its obvious as they say "I love him". But then what if I don't want to love, or at least I'm not ready? What if I am just okay with crushing on that person without expecting him to like me back and I'm just okay with using him as my source of inspiration? I am not even ready to go into a relationship, in fact, if someone asked me out right then and there, or if he does, I don't even know how i'd react. I seriously just don't know, I would be stunned, I would be mind blown, I just don't know how I would react to that. And now that I am almost graduating and nothing is progressing between us, it just keeps getting worst, and I just want it all to stop, but how? Can you train yourself not to fall in love? That's why we fall right? Because we don't intend to, but sometimes something makes us trip and makes us fall into these confusing feelings? My other friend feels the same way, she's so tired of being confused she wished she was a robot, and I wish I was too, because as of now my priority is my future ahead of me, but how can I focus with him plaguing my mind.

It's that crazy little thing called love of course, we don't know when cupid would strike because love moves in mysterious ways, and that is why sometimes we blindly fall in love, and sometimes fall for the wrong people, but sometimes, we too learn from our mistakes, and eventually get used to our feelings.

Physical Attraction

So here's the thing about me. I tend to crush on a lot of cute guys, and my single taste is just a turn off to most people (like people would even like a wallflower like me). So me and my friend have this sort of debate. Girls, what's your view on this? A hot shirtless guy with massive abs and toned muscles or shrimp shy guys, tall, sweet and mysterious? So, me and my friend can both agree on whats hot, I mean we have somewhat a similar taste, but then our internal taste is just way too different and thankfully that's what makes us best of friends. Its such a relief that we can't crush on the same guy. But anyway, so we currently both have our own crushes, and yes we are love sick puppies. And our debate still stands, which is normal for a girl to think about in a man? Or what is the typical physical features a woman should look in a man?

I personally prefer, Asian guys (must be a really bad habit from watching too many k-dramas and anime) not too skinny and not too bulky. Collarbones are really sexy, and shoulder blades.... slender guys with a little meat is fine I guess (and yet I argued to my other guy friend that's its not like i'd eat him when he complained that my crush was super skinny without any meat on him) baby faces but not too babyish, tall, and mysterious. I don't know, its just in my nature to fall for shy mysterious guys.

My friend complains that he doesn't has an ass because *coughs* too skinny, and she on the other hand prefers guys with ass, and i'm just like, gurl do you only look on people's ass? And she'd say, asses are hot, and its part of the survival, and I'm like, it's not like I'd even want to touch it. She likes muscular guys, hot bad boyish guys, sporty, tanned, and all those good stuff average girls fall for.

Then this one time she told me that I needed help from a friend and sends me 6 different pictures of half naked guys, each although smoking sexy and hot, just isn't my type. I mean I acknowledge the fact that they are sexy, hawt, and damn they really have a banging hawt body, but then, something about men with too many muscles frightens me. It feels like a symbolism of dominance, power, abuse, maybe its just me with my past, but there is something with my preference that is innocent and unique. Stereotypically, although not all guys with muscles are like this, guys with masses of muscles tend to be aggressive, and although you'd feel warmer wrapped around with all those corded muscles, I feel the sense of innocence and security with an average body of a man, not that I mean just any kind of body of man or man at that matter, but a slender figure, maybe a little athletic built like a slight tone of biceps, but abs, aren't things i'd want to find in a potential love interest. Finally, my idealism of a guys physical features, is just as I had said, I want to feel warm without someone with a showy body, cuddle with him somewhere with his strong hold, and not just plain muscle.

The Vampire Diaries

So all my life I can't believe I've been living in a hole. I'm kinda probably the type of gal like many who'd sit in a corner and watch Korean dramas for hours with all the fangirling kawaii-ness, kilig, and all those good stuff gushing out of me. My friend's been trying to break me out of the habit and expose me to what typical adolescent teenage girl should watch, and yes you guessed it, it's Vampire Diaries. Team Stefen all the way btw. I mean i'm so into those sexy vampire or werewolf paranormal romance things, chick lit to be exact, and what more with a sexy series such as this?!

So my friend's been getting me into this, and its not even past 10 minutes of the first episode and i'm already hooked. And to all those girls likes them going shirtless all the time, this is the drama for you XD. I just started the first season, 3 episodes per day, and so far so good! My other friend's like, I'm judging you so hard for missing out all these years, but eventually she'd sit besides me and we'd share one earphone, going nuts with all whats happening in the show. Earlier today, we were in class, and we can't help but make inappropriate sounds while the class is going on, and the other students would be looking at us from time to time, and apparently paying close attention to our facial reactions.

So what is this Vampire Diaries you say? To make it simple, its a must watch series, with a large fan base world wide. Its currently, as of now as I type, on Season 6. The story takes place in 2009, a year after Elena's parents death. She had just got over her survival, and now here she is contemplating all the weird shit that's been happening in mystic falls. She's got two hot vampires crushing on her, and ironically enough she's the doppelganger of their solely first love. Now the two vampires have been turned when they were 17, and their story goes years back, Kathrine, the female vampire and object of their love, turned the two brothers in hopes of their forever, but for her own agenda. When Kathrine dies by a fire, comes Elena whose not only shutting out everyone from asking her if everything was alright, having a drug addict-sick puppy (but hawt) of a younger brother to deal with, and a new vampire boyfriend in town with much secrets to tell, her world changes and this is just the beginning.

There is so many things I want to say, I don't even know if my summary was even appropriate, but basically that's the wisp of it, and you just have to watch it to find out too!


Join the fandom, and long live Team Stefen!

Thoughts on Piracy?

Although I agree that piracies threaten media artists and authors of their livelihood, I myself can’t imagine a world without free access to sites featuring downloadable books, music and videos for free. Over the years, technology has advanced, and we too have evolved into a hidden era of pro-piracy. We could freely get what we want with a simple touch of a button, and it’s not surprising how musicians, artists and authors cry out for help especially when we selfishly leech off torrents without paying for the legit thing. This however result into a negative impact on these hard working artists, who solely depend on their “piece of art” for a livelihood, and the last thing they’d want to hear is the lacking percentage of their salary solely because fans prefer to cheat them off by getting it free by illegal means.

However, the world today is slowly accepting piracy, slowly but surely everything we once have to pay for is easily accessible. Sad as it may appear for these hardworking souls, there is no denying the human nature to desire the easier way out of the problem. The world revolves around money, as we can all see it, and without it how else could we find the means to survive? People are getting creative as they steal these artists livelihood to make it easier on our part to access them by giving it to us gift wrapped with the words written FREE on the card they came along with. However nothing in life is free, and thus not all of the things we desire online could be found instantly as we thought. Because we don’t have the means to buy an album or book, or simply we’d prefer to get the save and find easier way out of the situation by illegal means, we rob these artists broke, tearing their zest to continue on to what they love to do, and breed a generation of thieves.

Finally in my opinion, I believe that we have a right to free music, books, and videos solely because these arts aren’t really as essential as food and water. I am not saying that we should make these fine artists penniless for their hard work, but what I’m saying is that, if music and books and videos hadn’t have a price tag, wouldn’t people steal less and resort to the final means of piracy? Provided that the option to support the artists, musicians and authors, it’s a win-win situation for both parties. Regardless, the fact that money is the sole issue here, maybe it’s up to the artists to decide whether they’d make their work of art free of charge, or as is labeled with a price tag.