Personality

Sometimes I hate my personality and sometime's I'm glad I turned out this way. I'm not usually the type who'd engage in a convo with people especially if I am not really close to them, let's just say I feel awkward talking to a complete stranger out of fear that they'd judge me. It's normal, yeah but I hate it, sometimes I can't socialize really well because it just feels awkward. I'm a complete opposite when compared to my bro who is outgoing and easily to engage in conversations. I personally don't go deep in friendships/relationships because it's usually troublesome like now, I have friends who can't get along and sometimes it's troublesome to counsel them and be the middle person in the situation. Lately my friends are heated up with this war of love hate relationship and as the middle person i'm dragged into it, like I said troublesome. When it comes to friends I'm a completely different person from your first impression, I'm crazy and easy going. If I was shy at first you'd be shock finding me bounce around changing ever so suddenly. But giving trust and friendship isn't easy for me so that's why I have a dual personality. I can also be the sweet, shy, innocent normal person but once I'm in my friend zone turf I'm really talkative and not ashamed. There are times that I'll be really nice and there are times when I won't talk at all signalling those who do to back away before they get hurt. (Usually at times when i'm in a bad mood but it's rare) The good thing about my personality is that I can lend a hand and ear for anyone especially my friend in need. I'm like a counselor which is fun but kind of irritating in some circumstances. But at times if I need time to think or if i'm just really pissed off I stay quiet and distance myself from the crowd. I hate drama especially ones with friends who make a fuss over small things so having my own world could be useful at times.